end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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