1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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