if i died would you start the facebook group?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
