My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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