the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
