So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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