so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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