Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize