you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
