it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
