Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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