i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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