Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
