i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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