Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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