Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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