shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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