bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
