I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
