He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
