dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
its liver damage thursday
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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