SEEEEXXX PLEASE
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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