Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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