Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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