I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
