i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
