so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
