I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
