dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
