He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
