No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
