Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
