all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
