i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
