this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
