just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
