If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
