Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
