You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
