im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
