shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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