There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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