I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
