My friends, they love my intelligence
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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