i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one might say we're banned from that church
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
