I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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