I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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