If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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