I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
