Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
