I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
