it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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