and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
