Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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