i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize