gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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