Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize